What Do I Want To Do?

I've spent a lot of time since I turned 30 thinking about two things.. What have I achieved so far and what do I want to do?

I am my own worst critic. I will sit there and think that my two children are my biggest accomplishment. I brought two people into the world and now I'm staying at home and trying to raise them into well rounded people who, I hope, will eventually go out into the world, with their own goals and dreams. Apart from that.. I've had several jobs, pre children. I've lived in London for two years. I've gained my qualification in Psychology and am now working towards my qualifications in Makeup Artistery. None of it feels like I've done enough though. Especially when you hear about fourteen year olds starting their own businesses and earning thousands.

When I think about what I want to do though, it's overwhelming. My biggest passion is writing. Hence how Rosy Cheeks & Muddy Feet was born. The art of weaving words together truly makes me happy. I love makeup and hopefully once I've finished my course I can make something out of that. Picking up my camera and capturing that perfect shot. Writing a chapter of the book I have in head. Learning more and more about different makeup products. There are so many things that make me happy.

I guess growing up I always figured that by 30 years old I would have it all figured out. I would know what I wanted to do and how I was going to get there. I didn't expect that I would still be sat, fumbling around, trying to make plan. I'm a big believer in you can do whatever you set your mind to. In fact I tell James that all the time. He will come to me and ask if he can be a fireman when he grows up, or a scientist, or a teacher.. (It changes daily!) and I always tell him that he can do whatever he wants to. If he sets his mind to something and works hard then he can do anything. So why can't I practice what I preach?

I want to write a book but I don't believe that I am talented enough.
I want to take photos but I don't believe that I am talented enough.
I want to give women confidence by making them feel as beautiful as they are but I don't believe that I am talented enough..

So instead, I hide. I don't do any of it. Why? Because I am scared of failure. Of rejection. Of not being good enough.

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