October 2014 | Rosy Cheeks & Muddy Feet

Five On Friday.

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Five on Friday.. Let's go..

1// I've wanted to write all week. I have so much that I need to write about but at the moment I don't have the words. This past week has been filled with a lot of up's and down's with regards to James' epilepsy and a new diagnosis that we are dealing with. I know what I want to say but trying to get those words from my brain to the keyboard isn't happening yet. It will come, with time.

2// Trying to get a photo of Emilie in her Halloween outfit didn't go well this morning.. However James was very compliant :)

3// Yesterday Emilie turned 15 months old.. I spent the past two weeks thinking that it was today until yesterday around 10am I looked at my phone and noticed the date. Oops! I nearly missed it! Her monthly update is coming tomorrow but please note... 15 months old and still not walking.. I am SO ready for her to walk.

4// We're having a little Halloween party this afternoon. James is beside himself with excitement. I'm not sure if that excitement is because his friends are coming or that our fridge is stocked with quite a few sweets..

5// I've just gone to my iPhoto folder on my Macbook to get upload some photos for this post and all my photos have gone!! I'm having a little (massive) heart attack over here....


Tomorrow Is A New Day.


It feels like at the moment I need to start every post with why I haven't written in three, four, five days. I have one simple answer. Life. I have so many things I want to write about. So many thoughts that I need to put into words but life comes along and certain things have to come first.. Yesterday afternoon my Sister and niece were here and stayed for dinner (Love spending time with them!) James was acting out a bit and I gave him a run down of everything that I still had to do before the kids went to bed.. My sister was like.. "Wow! That's a lot.." Yep, my days are jam packed full but honestly I wouldn't have it any other way, even if I do have to schedule in showers and blogging..

Yesterday was a bad day. One of those days where I should have just gone to back to bed and started over again.. Before 6.45am Emilie had smashed my iPhone, I had cut myself and broken my sim card.. It didn't get any better through out the day and by the end of it the puppy had escaped from the garden, Emilie had thrown about six tantrums between 2pm and 6pm and James nearly spontaneously combusted when he had to wait fifteen minutes for his pudding. The relief I felt when the kids were finally tucked up in bed and asleep and I could sit down for five minutes without being needed was amazing. The only thing I like about bad days is knowing that tomorrow is a new day and I can start over.

And start over we did. Today James had Dinosaur morning at school. We had to make consumes for them and then all the Mum's went into class with them this morning. We got to play with them, paint, draw, go outside and play with dinosaur goo! Then we all had a snack together (dinosaur biscuits that the children made yesterday! One for them and one for their Mum). James was so excited to take me into school and for me to see him in his world. I was looking through his work book and I cannot even put into words how proud I was.. On one piece of work there was a picture of an egg and they had to write down what they thought would be in the egg.. James' response was..

I think there is a hen in the egg because hens lay eggs.. 

I cannot fault his logic :)

Another piece, they had to write a fact about dinosaurs..

Dinosaurs have been dead for 65,000 years so they are extincted. 

I love how he wrote 'extincted' 

I am so grateful for the fact that I get to be a stay at home Mum and I can attend the school events and be apart of James' school life and eventually Emilie's too. I want them both to know that they will always see my face in the audience at the Christmas play or cheering them on from the sidelines at sports day. I want them to look back when they're older and know that not only was I there but I wanted to be there. 

Please excuse the quality of the photos! All were taken this morning before school, in a rush on my phone! 

My sister made his costume! Crafty little lady! 


Five On Friday.

Friday again! The weeks are flying by and Christmas is coming at us with full speed. This makes me both happy and nervous.. Happy because, well, it's Christmas! My favourite holiday but nervous because I haven't even started my Christmas shopping.. I'm going to start this weekend to try and calm my nerves!

So here goes.. Five On Friday.

1// Mornings in our house are crazy. Anthony has already left for work when the kids and I get up. Emilie wants her bottle, James wants breakfast, the dog wants to go out.. Then James wants help getting dressed whilst Emilie wants her breakfast whilst the dog wants a walk. Then Emilie fights me to get dressed, whilst James is moaning that he wants to go to school, while the dog still wants a walk. By this point Emilie is screaming, James is mad and the dog is going mental. All the while I feel like I am in the middle of a hurricane.. It normally ends up with me moaning about how I hate mornings and trying to shout above the screams to get everyone out of the door in time for school. On Wednesday morning it got to me. James ended up in time out for being rude, the dog got put in the cage, her walk having to wait because we had ran out of time. I dropped James at school and on the walk home I felt awful. Although on the way to school I had apologised for being stressed and he had replied with, 'That's okay Mum, don't worry about it...' I still felt bad. I made a promise to myself then that I wouldn't let mornings get to me like that again. I wouldn't shout to make myself heard. I wouldn't moan about how stressful they were.. Yesterday and today have gone better! It's amazing but I think because I'm not allowing myself to get worked up, the kids are actually calmer.. Maybe there is something to the saying, "A happy Mum makes a happy home'.... 

2// I found this article today on Facebook.. Every married couple needs to read it! 50 pieces of advice for a happy marriage. Some of the points are so sweet :)

3// James was off school on Monday with a cold.. He was okay in himself but coughed his way through Sunday night so I thought that a day off would help him. I was wondering if I had done the right thing but that same day I read an article about how a Mental Health Day everyone once in a while for kids isn't a bad thing... It made me feel better! He was back to school the next day. Still sniffling but well rested :)

4// Anthony has the whole weekend off! He normally has to work Saturdays but not this weekend. James is so excited about seeing his Dad for two whole days in a row!

5// What is a post without a photo? All morning Emilie has been holding James' camera up and saying 'Cheeeeese...' She takes after her Mama in her love of photography! Haha!

Happy Friday!


Raising A Sensitive Boy.

When you think of five year old boys, images of climbing trees, play fighting with guns and scrapped knees after a game of rough and tumble spring to mind. Well, they do for me. James loves all of the above.. Well maybe not the climbing trees, partly because I won't let him yet.. Apart from those things though he is also sensitive. He's probably one of the most sensitive kids I've ever met. He gets upset easily and when those tears start to fall, he doesn't stop easily, then he gets frustrated, which then turns to anger.

Yesterday afternoon after school he was colouring in a dinosaur mask for his homework. He was nearly finished when he accidentally ripped it. I assured him that I would speak the teacher and get a new one for him to complete before he has to hand it in next Wednesday. He was getting agitated and I could see he was about to get upset so I assured him that I would sort it.

Then he got ready for bed and I thought the problem was resolved. He went to bed and I got on with cleaning up.

About thirty minutes later I went to check on him and I found him in floods of tears lying in bed. I asked him what was wrong..

'They won't have any masks left at school. I know they won't!'

It took me fifteen minutes of telling him that the teacher would have kept spares for this very reason.

'But I won't be able to finish it before Wednesday.'

I told him that was a whole seven days away and that we would definitely have it done.

When I found out James was a boy I had the normal worries of whether I would be a good mother. Would he turn out to be a feisty toddler? Would the terrible two's send me rocking into a corner? What I didn't think about though was would I be raising a sensitive boy. I was talking to a Mum at school this morning about sensitive children and we came to the conclusion that with girls, they are expected to be sensitive so you don't really give it a second thought. Stereotypes have led us to believe that girls are kind & sweet, they play with dolls and love the colour pink.. Whereas boys love to get dirty, shout & scream their way through the day and don't sit still for more than two minutes. That's not the case though and those stereotypes are so out dated.

In my eyes there is nothing wrong with James being sensitive. He is the kindest, sweetest boy ever and I think his sensitivity just adds to that. He comes home from school and asks me if he can help me with any jobs. He accidentally hurt Emilie the other day and he cried because he was so worried that he had badly hurt her. Sometimes when he cries or gets upset & angry about something that, to me, seems trivial, I have to stop and remind myself that to him, it's a big thing. Last night he saw the broken mask and the potential that the teacher may have ran out of them as a big problem. Sitting there on the edge of the bed, desperately trying to reassure him, made me realise that. Little things to me are big things for him.



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...reading  Do blogs count?! I don't have a book on the go at the minute and I don't like it! I love reading but at the moment with everything else I have going on I just don't have the time! 

...watching Season four of The Vampire Diaries on Netflix. It's my favourite show! I cannot wait for season five to start here in England. 

...eating I've just ate a packet of Hula Hoops. 

...pinning Slow cooker receipes. I found an awesome one last night for Lemon & Garlic Chicken that sounds amazing. I'm going to try it this coming week. 

...loving A weekend with my family. Sunday's is the only day that Anthony is home all day! 

...enjoying Planning a new venture. More details to come soon ;)

...thinking About everything that I need to get done this week. So many jobs, so little time.

...feeling Motivated, inspired and tired.. Oh and a little peeved that the dog tripped me up this morning which in turn made me drop my phone and crack the screen.. 

...hoping That my new venture comes together.

...listening To the dog playing. 

...Wearing Jeans, tank top and a jumper.. It's cold today!


World Mental Health Day.

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Yesterday was World Mental Health Day. I've written here numerous times over the past three years about my problems with Emetophobia and the anxiety and depression that comes along with that. It's something that affects me everyday even though I don't talk about it here all the time.

There seems to be a taboo with issues regarding mental health. Some people are afraid to admit that they are suffering. Some people do not see it as a real illness. I think one of the biggest problems with it, and I have found this out personally, is that because on the outside, you look fine. The illness is all on the inside. When you have a broken leg it is blatantly obvious what is wrong with you. With depression, anxiety, PND etc, people cannot see how bad that you feel so sometimes they don't think of it as a real problem. 

Oh if I had a pound for every time someone told me to just get over it. Well, I'd have a hell of a lot of pounds. Even doctors have sometimes struggled to understand how I'm feeling and how I've struggled in the past to deal with it.

We need to get better at admitting that we are struggling. There is no shame in it. It is not a character flaw. There have been so many studies that have shown that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. It's not just a case of being weak, or not being able to handle stress. (Yes, that's been said to me before.) 

I went onto anti anxiety medication before I fell pregnant with Emilie and the change in me was amazing. For the first time in ages I enjoyed life. I woke up ready to face the day and not wanting to just climb back into bed. Luckily since I stopped taking them when I found out I was pregnant I've been able to cope without them. However, if I felt that I was slipping back again then I wouldn't hesitate to go to the doctor and start taking medication again. 

The truth is that yes I suffer from anxiety. I have suffered from depression but I am still here today fighting. That in itself means that I am strong. I am a survivor. There is no shame in that. 


Five On Friday.

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I'm so excited to finally be back taking part in the Five on Friday posts and linking up with April,  Darci, Christina & Natasha. I missed this whilst the girls took a break over the Summer and I'm ready to jump back in!

1// It's amazing how much more productive I am when I don't have daytime television on. This morning I randomly chose to have music on instead of the TV and I've gotten so much accomplished. I even vacuumed behind the sofa.. See, I told you productive...

2// Each day I think I am growing to love being a stay at home Mum more. I've had several moments this past week where I've stopped and just been in awe of how lucky I am and how much I love my children. Soppy? Yes but it's the truth..

3// Last weekend I took some photos at the 1st birthday party of my friends daughter. Whilst doing it I realised how much I love photography and how I don't just want to keep it as a hobby. I still have a lot to learn and I need to practice practice practice but it doesn't hurt to have a goal to work towards :)

4// I realised the other day how close Christmas is! James has two weeks at school before half term and then after that their next holiday will be the Christmas break. I need to start shopping for their presents! I have no idea what to get for James.. Last year he got a new bike, how can I top that!? 

5// Molly.. Lets just say she is definitely a border collie.. This puppy has so much energy! She gets what I call the zoomies, where she goes crazy for about an hour and just runs through the house to the garden, back to the house & back to the garden. I wish I had her energy.. 

Hope everyone has a great weekend! 


Saturday Random.

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This weekend is a mixture of venturing out and hibernating at home. Emilie's friend had her first birthday party this afternoon. I wasn't sure how she would deal with all the people and was pretty sure that she would be stuck to me. Thankfully she loved it! She had a few moments where she needed me for the extra security but other than that she was happy to explore and feel things out for herself. I hope this means we are rounding a corner with her separation anxiety. Tomorrow I am all set to baton down the hatches and (hopefully!) clean and organise the house. Sundays is the only day Anthony is home from work so with an extra pair of eyes on the kids it means I can do all those niggly little jobs that I never get around to in the week..

Some randomness for this chilly Saturday night.. 

One// This evening I found Jess Connolly's blog and immediately loved it. She is currently taking part in the 31 day challenge with The Nester. She has chosen to write about Practicing Messy Motherhood and I was gripped. Sometimes it feels like Mum's have to be perfect, to be able to do it all and still have time at the end of the day. In reality, it can't be like that all the time. Sure I have days where I feel like a super Mum. I get five loads of washing done, the house all cleaned, I let the kids go wild with the arts and crafts and a home cooked meal manages to make it's way onto the table.. Those days though are few and far between.. Most days by 4pm, Emilie is in her nappy and vest, with one shoe on and the other lost in a mountain of toys. She has breakfast stuck in her hair and her knees are covered in dirt. I've always been told that a messy kid is a happy kid so I'm just going to roll with that :) Head over and check out her 31 days series so far, it's inspiring. This week I think I am going to write out my own Mum Confessions. 

Two// Autumn is definitely heading our way. I couldn't believe it on the 1st of this month when the sun was blazing and it felt more like August than October. Today it's been chilly and raining.. I don't mind the chill.. I'm not a fan of the rain though.

Three// Last week I watched a documentary on Netflix called "Hungry For Change" Long story short it's pretty much about the food that we eat and how bad it is for our bodies. Now my diet is terrible. My problems with Emetophobia have led me to have problems with food. I've struggled with eating for years. After watching this documentary though it really made me think. Since watching it I've started making changes to what I eat. Small changes, very small, but I'm trying and hopefully the baby steps will all add up to big steps. 

Four// I am on the hunt for some new slow cooker recipes. When the weather starts turning colder two things happen in my kitchen. Porridge for breakfast and the slow cooker gets dusted off. I'm getting a bit bored of cooking my same old tried and tested stews though so I'm looking for some new ideas. I love throwing something in the pot in the morning and knowing that's it until I dish it up at 4.30pm. What Mum doesn't like short cuts? Right? If you have any recipe gems then feel free to throw them my way! 


Emilie - Fourteen Months.

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Okay, so technically I should have written this on Tuesday but I took a couple of days off from blogging after the Blog-tember challenge. 

Oh Miss Emilie.. She has come on in leaps and bounds this past month. I actually think *fingers crossed* that she may be turning a corner with regards to her temperament. It's no secret that she has been a contender for the worlds grumpiest baby this past year but my little girl seems to be doing a lot better. She still has her moments but what baby doesn't? She is completely off her reflux medication and has been for two weeks. So far so good! She hasn't had her choking problems that she had the previous times that I've tried her without her medicine. She has an appointment next month with her paediatrician and I think that they may discharge her now. 

She took two steps a couple of weeks ago but hasn't taken any since then. I know some people aren't anxious for their kids to walk but I am so ready! When she started pulling herself to a standing position at seven months old I thought that she would be walking by her first birthday but nope. Fourteen months old and I still have a crawler. My baby for a little while longer :)

Emilie is currently going through a developmental leap according to the Wonder Weeks and I definitely know about it. She is coming out with new words daily, she gives kisses on demand, most days she doesn't scream every time I even think about the leaving the room. The downside to this is that she now thinks it's acceptable to wake up at 5am every morning! I'm not the biggest fan of this. I try to encourage her to go back to sleep because otherwise by 7am she is a screaming mess. Plus this month her and James started sharing a room and I don't think James would be a fan of a 5am wake up either. 

I could go on and on.. instead.. Photos! 

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