A Letter To My Children.

It was six years ago that I found out I was going to be a Mummy. After loosing five babies before I was apprehensive and nervous but so excited. As the weeks went on and you grew in my stomach James I started to believe that you were my miracle baby. I will never forget the night you were born. After a scary delivery and turbulent start to life you were finally placed in my arms and I fell head over heals in love with you.

And then you Emilie. Whilst I was carrying you I always said that you were going to be our little diva and now that you are here that hasn't changed. Even at only nine months old, you are a determined little thing. You know what you want and you are not afraid to tell everyone.

Both of you will never know how much I love you. You've healed me in ways that even I didn't think was possible. Sure there are bad days. Days when you both wake up on the wrong side of the bed and it feels like the day will never end but the good days definitely outweigh the bad. Your smiles are contagious, your personalities are so different but each of them beautiful.  The way you love each other so much already is inspiring.

I love our normal days. Dancing in the kitchen and bath times where you both make each other giggle. Days like today where it's raining and cold so we're staying home. Playing and eating snacks. Snuggling and watching cartoons. There can be beauty in the normal everyday moments.

As your Mummy I hope everyday that I am doing the best job that I can. I know that there are days when maybe I shout or seem stressed. Or you think that I might not have enough time to stop and play with you because I keep moaning about the size of my to-do list. Always know though that I will always have time for you. No matter how busy I may seem or how tired I am.

Thats one of the reasons I write here. So that in years to come you can read about our time together as you were growing up. One of the biggest lessons I've learnt since becoming your Mum is that time goes so quickly. It feels like yesterday that I was holding my first baby in the hospital and now I have both of you. It blows my mind Emilie that you are nearly one year old.

So, always know that you are both the most precious things to me. My time spent with you as you grow up I will remember with fondness and gratitude. I'm so lucky that I get to be YOUR Mummy!


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