May 2014 | Rosy Cheeks & Muddy Feet

Emilie - Ten Months

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{Trying to get this months photo was impossible! She was all over the place trying to crawl off!}


Emilie is in size 4+ nappies and wearing mostly 9-12 month clothes with a few 6-9 months thrown in. She is getting weighed next week but baby girl is getting heavy! 

Eating - Emilie has come on leaps and bounds with her food this month! She has dropped from 4 bottles a day to 3 and is no longer gagging/choking/vomiting on every lump that she comes across. She can now manage a lot of different soft foods as long as they are tiny pieces. She loves bananas, yoghurts, cheese and strawberries. I'm searching for more fingers foods that she can tolerate but it's been a bit of a struggle. She's at that awkward stage where she wants to progress from puree's but cannot eat a big enough range of 'normal' foods yet. It's a slow progress but she's done so well this month. I was really starting to worry for a bit there!




Sleeping - Her sleeping has also gotten better this month *touch wood* :) She has gone from 3 naps a day down to 2. A small one in the morning and then a long nap at 12.30. Most days she needs settling back to sleep a couple of times during this nap but two days this week she slept a full two hours before waking. I think blacking out the windows has helped. She goes to bed at 6.45pm and most nights sleeps until 5am ish before needing to be settled back to sleep. 


Milestone - She is using everything to pull herself up. The TV unit, the sofa, the coffee table, the stair gates, my leg.. Literally whatever is available. She hasn't quite mastered sitting herself back down again yet so as soon as she is bored there are tears until I help her. This happens about a thousand times a day! This past week she has also started cruising around the furniture.



Gives kisses, gives cuddles & points.. It feels like everyday she is doing something new. 

Now has two teeth and says Mama, Dada, Bir (Bird) & Ba (Bath) 


Loves - Standing, strawberries, being outside, James, bath time, her brothers toy keyboard, birds, when I vacuum. 

Hates - Nappy changes - she starts screaming as soon as I get a nappy out, getting dressed, anyone picking her up that isn't Anthony or me. 



Overall this month has been good. Emilie is still a sensitive little soul that is easily upset. I think part of it is her silent reflux (when will that end?!) and part of it is just her personality. James is the same way but as he's gotten older he can vocalise his feelings rather than just screaming. She is at such a fun age though and when she is happy, she is SO happy! 


Happy TEN months Peanut! 



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A Letter To My Children.

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It was six years ago that I found out I was going to be a Mummy. After loosing five babies before I was apprehensive and nervous but so excited. As the weeks went on and you grew in my stomach James I started to believe that you were my miracle baby. I will never forget the night you were born. After a scary delivery and turbulent start to life you were finally placed in my arms and I fell head over heals in love with you.



And then you Emilie. Whilst I was carrying you I always said that you were going to be our little diva and now that you are here that hasn't changed. Even at only nine months old, you are a determined little thing. You know what you want and you are not afraid to tell everyone.



Both of you will never know how much I love you. You've healed me in ways that even I didn't think was possible. Sure there are bad days. Days when you both wake up on the wrong side of the bed and it feels like the day will never end but the good days definitely outweigh the bad. Your smiles are contagious, your personalities are so different but each of them beautiful.  The way you love each other so much already is inspiring.

I love our normal days. Dancing in the kitchen and bath times where you both make each other giggle. Days like today where it's raining and cold so we're staying home. Playing and eating snacks. Snuggling and watching cartoons. There can be beauty in the normal everyday moments.

As your Mummy I hope everyday that I am doing the best job that I can. I know that there are days when maybe I shout or seem stressed. Or you think that I might not have enough time to stop and play with you because I keep moaning about the size of my to-do list. Always know though that I will always have time for you. No matter how busy I may seem or how tired I am.


Thats one of the reasons I write here. So that in years to come you can read about our time together as you were growing up. One of the biggest lessons I've learnt since becoming your Mum is that time goes so quickly. It feels like yesterday that I was holding my first baby in the hospital and now I have both of you. It blows my mind Emilie that you are nearly one year old.

So, always know that you are both the most precious things to me. My time spent with you as you grow up I will remember with fondness and gratitude. I'm so lucky that I get to be YOUR Mummy!

xxxxxxx


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"Isn't the newborn stage brilliant?"

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I've always said that I missed the newborn stage with James. He was so poorly with his reflux, I was fighting with doctors firstly for a diagnosis and then for the proper treatment. I spent my whole time worrying about him and feeling like I was failing him as Mum. He couldn't do a lot of things that babies do because he was so sick. I blinked and all of a sudden he was six months old and then a year. Our biggest turning point was just after he turned one. His reflux got so much better and as that disappeared he became such a happy child! It was then that I realised that maybe I wasn't doing such a bad job.



When I found out that we were expecting Emilie I was so excited that I would get to experience the newborn stage again. I would be able to rock a tiny baby in my arms and not have them screaming and writhing in pain. I wouldn't be fighting with doctors and have my calendar full of doctors appointments. I wouldn't be begging the paediatrician to try the next medication because the one before just wasn't working.

If anything Emilie has been worse than James. Her reflux is the silent kind so although she isn't as sick as he was, (I counted with James one day and he vomited 72 times in one day!) she seems to be in more pain than he was. I documented here enough times about what a temperamental baby she is. Baby girl can hold a three hour scream fest quite easily. But I can't blame her. If I was in constant pain and had no idea how to tell someone then I'd cry all day too. I'm pretty sure that soon the doctors are going to start charging us rent because we are there so often.



This time though I am dealing with it better. This time I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. With James being my first I got to the stage where I thought he would be in pain and unwell forever. I didn't foresee him ever being an happy child. I know that one day Emilie will be happy and smiling. She will be chasing her brother around without a care in the world. She won't scream every time someone other than me goes near her. She won't be on medication forever.

A few times people have said to me.. "Isn't the newborn stage brilliant?"

I feel like I should automatically say yes because isn't that whats expected of Mum's? Yes a newborn baby is amazing. The feel of the weight of them in your arms is perfect and the love that you feel for them as soon as they are placed in your arms is something that you will never understand until you experience it. For me though, when I think about my babies as newborns I feel sad. Sad that I didn't get to have those few carefree weeks where you are cocooned in your own little world with your baby. Sad that my babies spent their first year in pain, unable to tell me and unable to understand it themselves. Sad that instead of rocking them gently to sleep, I would be bouncing them for hours at a time just to get them to stop screaming.

It's okay though because although we are still in the thick of it with Emilie, I know that what comes afterwards is amazing. Yes I feel sad that her newborn stage wasn't the second chance that I had hoped for but that stage is a fleeting moment and one of many. I'm excited for whats to come!





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The Sunday Currently.

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C U R R E N T L Y . . .

R E A D I N G  These past two weeks I have managed to start and finish two books. A record for me since Emilie was born. One was based on true life events called, "Please Don't Take My Baby" and the second was by Danielle Steel called "Friends Forever." I loved them both. 

W R I T I N G  Blog posts mostly. 

L I S T E N I N G  The kids have just gone to bed so I'm sitting down to watch Britain's Got Talent. The audition episodes are my favourite. 

T H I N K I N G  That my house looks a mess. It's probably not that bad but I see every little thing thats out of place and it annoys me. 

S M E L L I N G  Clean laundry. It's one of my favourite smells. 

W I S H I N G  That I had more hours in my day! 

H O P I N G  That the warm weather returns soon. Who knows, maybe that week of lovely sunshine was our Summer? It is England after all. 

W E A R I N G  Joggers and a T-shirt. 

L O V I N G  My little family, my new MacBook :), being able to drink a hot cup of tea. 

W A N T I N G  To hear about my student loan. It's going to take them about six weeks to get back to me but I'm an impatient little soul. 

N E E D I N G A hair cut.. Desperately. That whole thing about not having enough hours in the day again. 

F E E L I N G  Exhasuted & run down. Every night I say that once James & Emilie are in bed then I'm going to head that way too but then I feel like I need some down time to just be Liane and before I know it, it's 11pm. 

C L I C K I N G  Some new blogs that I found this week. I love finding new ones that grab my attention right from the start. 


siddathornton
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Five On Friday.

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Thank goodness Friday is here! It's time for Five On Friday!

{One}
I am typing this on my brand new MacBook Pro! I've wanted one for ages and finally at the beginning of this week I ordered one. It arrived last night and I am in love. I'm having a few technically difficulties transferring my photos from my old laptop to this new one and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I don't loose all those memories. 

{Two}
The beginning of this week started on a high with me signing up with the Open University to study for my degree in Psychology. I never went to college or university, deciding to leave school and head straight to work but I know that if I had chosen the further education route then I would have studied Psychology. Back in 2011 I completed a distance learning course from home and got my A-Level in Psychology so I'm so excited to carry it on and get my degree. Even if it is going to take me four years. 

{Three} 
The past two days Emilie has been a grump. Like screams every time I put her down kind of grump. It's these kind of days where I have to stop, breath and remember that she is just a baby. She's not doing it to intentionally upset me. Lets say that I've counted to ten a lot since Wednesday. 



{Four}
James is on half term for the next week and I couldn't be happier. Mornings are a big enough of a rush without adding the pressures of getting to school on time and in one piece. I dream of the day that school holidays also means a lie in :)

{Five}
How have I never watched the show 'Mistresses' before? I discovered the first season on Sky Catch Up and I'm hooked. I'm only about 6 episodes in but so far I love it. It's been a while since I found a new show that has me right from the start.


Happy Friday!


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Finding My Voice.

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Sitting down to write after watching "American Blogger" last night is making me look at blogging with fresh new eyes. I have this little space on the internet and I can do what I want with it. I can write our story. I can share our life and that makes me excited!

The movie was so inspirational and really made me think. When I moved from Live Journal to Blogger a few years ago I was unsure of the move and felt intimidated by putting myself out there for the whole world to see. In all honesty I still feel that way. I haven't found my voice yet and I think I've been scared too. American Blogger made me realise that for me to do myself or my blog any justice then I need to find my voice, I need to put myself out there. I love blogging and it brings me such joy, why would I not want to put my whole self into it?

There are so many great blogs out there and the woman writing them all seem so put together, so sure of themselves that I always find myself comparing, which I shouldn't do. Nearly everyone on the movie last night spoke about the community within blogging. The friendships that are created by people living hundreds or thousands of miles apart from each other. That's one of the biggest reasons that I love the internet and social media. I've written a few posts where women have responded with a "Me too!" and it's awesome how by sharing our hopes, our fears, our struggles and our achievements we can bring so many people together.

I went to bed feeling inspired and this morning that feeling has continued. There is still a lot I want to write on this subject but right now I'm having trouble putting it all into words.


Some photos from the weekend :)







{baby pears!} 




It's been an exciting morning in our house! I have some news to share tomorrow! 



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Five On Friday.

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{One}
When I had my wisdom tooth taken out two weeks ago the dentist made me an appointment for this morning to do the rest of the work needed to fix my teeth. I've spent those two weeks working myself up into a state and psyching myself up for this morning. An hour before I was due to leave this morning the receptionist from the dentist practice rang to say that the dentist chair had broke and they needed to reschedule for next week. So I get a reprieve which is good but now I have the next four days to work myself up again. Not so good.

{Two}



This one has always loved looking at herself in the mirror.. Now though, she has learnt to kiss herself in the mirror. Cute right? 

{Three} 
I downloaded the Etsy App on my phone the other day. BIG mistake.. BIG! I cannot stop looking at all the gorgeous handmade items on there. So far I've seen about a hundred dresses that I could buy for Emilie and just as many things for our house. 

{Four} 
My meal planning has gone to pot already. I need to motivate myself to get it back on track and I will do.. I will.. I'm going to try and use the weekend to organise myself. I guess I'm just having one of those weeks. (Or one of those months.) 

{Five} 


This is spot on.. :)


Happy Friday! 





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Why Do I Blog?

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Why do I blog?


To be inspired. 

To create

To inspire

To listen

To document



To connect

To remember

To explore

To communicate


To slow down

To focus








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The Sunday Currently.

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C U R R E N T L Y . . .

R E A D I N G - I'm in the middle of 'Warm Bodies' (have you seen the film? It's a must see, trust me!) I haven't picked it up in a while though. 

W R I T I N G - Blog posts. I have lots of ideas floating around in my head. 

L I S T E N I N G - Anthony has on a 50 Cent album. It's not my kind of music at all. 

T H I N K I N G - That Emilie needs to start sleeping past 5am. I'm a morning person but even 5am is too early for me. 

S M E L L I N G - The marmite on toast that Anthony just cooked. 

W I S H I N G - That it would stop raining. We were promised a heat-wave.. Where's the sun? 

H O P I N G - That Emilie's second Craniosacral therapy session this week goes well. Anthony thinks it's ridiculous but at this point I'm willing to try anything. Nine months with a cranky baby is a long time! 

W E A R I N G - For the first time in a LONG time I am having a PJ day :) 

L O V I N G - My kids.. After this week I am more grateful for them than ever before. 

W A N T I N G - Sugar. We ran out yesterday and my tea just doesn't taste the same. 

N E E D I N G - To clean. And organise. And do laundry.. It's a never ending circle. 

F E E L I N G - Grateful and motivated.





siddathornton


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Five On Friday.

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My aim was to write this during Emilie's nap time but the whole day got away from me so here I am now at nearly 8.30pm. Better late than never, right?

1 - This week social media has made me want to hug my kids tighter, kiss them more and tell them constantly that I love them. It's made me want to wrap them up in cotton wool and never let them out of my sight. My heart has been heavy for a family that I have never met. I can't even imagine the pain of loosing a child.



2 - I don't know about anyone else but when I hear of someone else receiving devastating news, it makes me re-evaluate my own life. It makes me realise that all my little moans that I have are really insignificant. It makes me take stock and realise that yes we have our struggles and not everything is perfect but it could be a whole lot worse. We are together, we're happy, we're safe and healthy. Do I really need anything more?

 
 
 
3 - For a while now James has been asking us for a pet of his own. We explained to him that looking after an animal is a lot of work and commitment and that you can't just get bored and forget about it. These conversations have been going on for weeks. Today whilst James was at school we hit the pet shop to try and find a 'low maintenance, five year old friendly' pet. It ended up coming down to a fish or a bird. I made the final decision and we left with a cage and a Zebra Finch. Anthony & I were both like kids, rushing home to set up our new family member, both of us so excited for James to come home. I collected him from school and made no mention of the word, 'pets'. We got in and I asked James to go to his bedroom because I  had laid his clothes out on his bed. He opened his bedroom door and there on his dresser was his new friend! He was so excited!!
 
"You got me a pet! A bird! Wow! It's the best bird ever! What's it's name?"
 
I informed him that it was a girl and that he could name her whatever he wanted..
 
"I'm going to call her Zac Robin"
 
Ummm.. Okay then, Zac Robin it is.. He basically hasn't left his room since he got home from school. He's currently reading to the bird :)
 
 
 
4 - My twitter account got hacked last week. Every time I logged on it showed that I was following 60 new accounts that I had never heard of or added. I would delete them all and then the next time there would be another 60 new accounts added again. It was also showing me that I was sending private messages out to some of my own followers. A quick password change later and it seems to be sorted but it really annoyed me! That's my account I don't want some stranger hacking into it. Also it made me realise that you can have all the passwords you like but in todays world, people are always going to find a way in. The internet is a scary place sometimes.
 
 
5 - After two weekends full of activities and visits to family, I think this weekend is going to be more chilled out. We're all tired and Emilie & I have had colds since Monday. I think some downtime at home is much needed. Plus my house looks like I haven't touched it in weeks. Yes, my weekend will be filled with cleaning, sorting & ironing..
 
Happy Friday!
 



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A Late Weekend Round Up.

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It was a bank holiday this weekend which is obviously a great thing being a long weekend but now my days are all muddled up. I spent all day yesterday thinking that it was Sunday and now I'm thinking it's Monday.

We had another weekend filled with family and overall it was fun! We got to meet our new nephew on Saturday. He's a cutie but for the first time ever I held a baby and didn't feel broody.. That's a new one for me. Emilie has ruined me for all other babies ;) I kid, kind of..

My Mum hosted a BBQ on Saturday. It's not often we all get together and the weather was perfect.

I posted this photo to Instragram whilst I was trying to keep Emilie asleep and therefore missing out on all the fun. 






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See the photos above.. Firstly lets take a minute to appreciate the awesomeness that is leg warmers on a baby.. 


Towards the end of last year my Sister taught herself to crochet. (I have no idea how she taught herself, I've tried and it's so difficult!) Since then she has gotten better and better and has now started up her own little Crochet business whilst she stays at home with her daughter. If you're in the market for some crochet goodies then head over to her Facebook page, Isla & Willow and check her out.


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Trying to get a good photo of both James & Emilie together is proving to be near impossible. I feel like a director trying to get the perfect shot.. "Everyone look at Mummy" "James take your finger out you nose.." "Emilie! Where's Mummy!" It's exhausting, I tell you. 



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I'm pretty sure that Emilie & I have the worst immune systems of anyone that I know. Just a few weeks after we both had a cold, we are both down for the count again. My throat feels like sandpaper and I've lost count of the amount of times I've sneezed whilst writing this. Emilie isn't much better and isn't sleeping well. Who gets a cold at this time of the year? 

Here's to another week! 




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Five On Friday.

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{One}
It's not been a great week. It started on Monday morning when I woke up, tried sitting up and the whole room started spinning. It passed quickly and I didn't think too much about it. That morning I had a dentist appointment and they ended up taking my top wisdom tooth out. (I'm terrified of the dentist and haven't been in fifteen years.) So I've been dealing with the tooth extraction but the extreme diziness hasn't gone away and has gotten worse over the week. I've got a doctor coming today to make a house call. Hopefully they can tell me whats wrong. This whole week has gotten me down.


{Two}
I am so excited for the weekend! My sister-in-law had her first baby last Friday and tomorrow we are all going to meet little baby Oliver! I cannot wait for baby snuggles and to see my sister-in-law. She is going to make an amazing Mummy! James is also very excited to meet his newest cousin.



{Three} 
Last night I was reading my old Live Journal from when James was a baby. Two points, it appears that I give birth to grumpy babies. I had forgotten how grumpy James was until he was about nine months old. I thought Emilie was worse but now I think they're about the same. Here's hoping Emilie grows out of it soon! Also, how much do they look alike?!



{Four} 
I've decided to start meal planning. Since Emilie was born I've gone for the quickest and easiest option when it comes to dinner time. I'm fed up of not knowing what I'm going to cook until ten minutes before dinner and also for feeling guilty for not serving healthy nutritious meals. Yesterday I sat down and made a list of everyone's favorite meals and then made a three week plan and also a shopping list. I'm excited to start cooking meals from scratch again! Last night I made Chicken breasts wrapped in cheese and bacon. It was always a big hit with Anthony & James and last night was no different. I'm now on a mission to find some new exciting recipes.

{Five} 
Talking about food. Emilie has never been able to tolerate any kind of lumps or texture. Everything has to be pureed and even that she sometimes gags on. Last night I gave her a little Cauliflower and some pasta spirals. She ate it all and didn't gag once! This is major progress! I'm fully expecting that we will still have some gagging/choking/vomiting episodes along the way but any kind of progress is good with me! 

Thank goodness it's Friday!




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