Military Wives - Link Up!

Mal Smiles

I am so excited about this link up with Samantha! We're breaking the typical stereotypes that come part in parcel with being a military wife! (I realised yesterday that I miss blogging several times a week. Since having Emilie and dealing with all of her issues I've let the things that I really love to do slide. I guess that comes with having children, they come first and you come second but last night I made myself a promise that I am going to set aside time for myself everyday once the kids are asleep to sit and write, to preserve our memories here on my blog! I think this post is the perfect place to start!) 

For those of you that are joining me from the link up, Hi! I'm Liane, a 28 year old, stay at home Mummy to two! We live in England and my husband was medically discharged from the British Army in 2010. 

I met my husband Anthony in 2003 when he was already in the Army and building quite the career for himself. We started dating in the January of 2004 and up until then I hadn't really paid much attention to the Military. He was the first soldier that I had met. Our first four years together, he lived in barracks and I stayed at home in Northamptonshire. We went through four long deployments together. Before I met Anthony if anyone would have asked me if I could be in a long distance relationship then without a doubt I would have said, NO! I didn't think I was the type of person that could go for long periods of time without seeing their other half. I surprised myself (and everyone around me) though, I survived and our relationship didn't suffer because of the distance between us. We loved the weekends and the odd few weeks that we got to spend together. I became a devoted letter-writer and my mobile phone was never more than an arms length away from me. 

We got married in August 2008 (my 23rd birthday!) and a month later I moved to London where Anthony was stationed. Not only did I fall in love with the city but I adored being an "Army Wife" - (It's nothing like on TV!) By this point I was pregnant with our first child and was the happiest I had ever been. Sure, I hated the time we had to spend apart but life in general was great. The biggest thing I loved was the sense of community. It wasn't unusual for my door to knock at 11pm and my neighbor would be stood there looking for some company because her husband was away or for me to be at a friends door at 8am because the baby had been awake for four hours already. The first time my Mum came to visit she was shocked at the closeness of all the wives.

Off course there were downsides.. There is a saying that if the Army wanted you to have a wife then they would have issued you with one.. It's off course a joke but it felt like that sometimes. The Army didn't care if your kids Dad didn't make it home in time for bedtime stories for three weeks on the bounce or if your husband had to miss your child's first Christmas.  

In 2010, after suffering injuries in Iraq, Anthony was medically discharged. I always knew that when his time came to leave the military that he would have a hard time adjusting but I never realised that I would also feel lost. 

We moved back home and it took me three years for it to actually feel like home. I missed my friends the most but I also missed the structure and way of life that we had built. Today, I still have moments of longing. Maybe I look back at it all with rose tinted glasses because it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, far from it, but it was a big part of my life and a great part at that!

Some stereotypes of military wives that I thought I would kill whilst I'm writing this..

1 - We do not give birth to a child once a year.
2 - We do not all cheat on our husbands when they are deployed.
3 - We do get dressed, put make-up on and do our hair. We do not sit in PJ's all day, every day.
4 - Some of us are educated women.
5- The wife does not get snootier the higher her husband climbs the ranks. Yes I've met snooty officer wives but I've also met wives of Guardsmen that are just as snooty.
6 - It is nothing like the TV show, Army Wives... I wish! The show is fantastic and I watched it every week without fail but it's glamorized for TV.

"The Silent Ranks"

I wear no uniforms, no blues or army greens
But I am in the Army in the ranks rarely seen
I have no rank upon my shoulders - salutes I do not give
But the military world is the place where I live
I'm not in the chain of command, orders I do not get
But my husband is the one who does, this I can not forget
I'm not the one who fires the weapon, who puts my life on the line
But my job is just as tough. I'm the one that's left behind
My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man
And the call to serve his country not all can understand
Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free
My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do our kids and me
I love the man I married, Soldiering is his life
But I stand among the silent ranks known as the Army Wife
 Author: Unknown

Thank you for stopping by! 


  1. Hi Liane! I'm stopping by from the link-up today! Your blog is so cute… and I totally agree with the stereotypes that you mentioned… especially the being educated one! :)


    1. Aww! Thank you :)

      I always found that people always thought that I could have my own interests, opinions or qualifications once they heard that I was an "army wife"
      Thank you for leaving the link to your blog, I'm going to check it out once I've gotten the baby into bed!

  2. Stopping by from the link up!
    When my husband got out of the Marines I felt a little lost too.. I can totally relate to that. And I agree with those stereotypes. I also love that you are in England! My mom is from England, and I still have tons of family across the pond. :)

    1. It's a small world! What part of England is your Mum from?

  3. I loved this! So glad you linked up with us :) I never thought about missing the structure once we are out... I say I can't wait for that day but who knows how I will feel when it happens! xo

  4. Found your blog through the link up! Love your stereotypes list! The one about popping out babies each year made me laugh ;) xo

  5. I love your perspective. I hope life is settling for you now as civilians and hope your husband has fully recovered.

  6. It is so cool seeing the perspective from a wife who knows the way of a different Army. We all deal with the same situations, but the viewpoints are always just a tad different, and so so interesting. Love your final list and that poem! Stopping by from the link up!


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