June 2013 | Rosy Cheeks & Muddy Feet

Getting Things Off My Chest..

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I am overwhelmed. Not in an "I can't cope anymore way" but in an "I don't know where things are going" kind of a way. I mentioned in my previous post that I am a planner and organizer. I like to know what is happening and when. I like to make plans and for them not to change. I don't like the unknown. So today I want to get a few things off my chest. To try and clear my mind and who knows maybe by writing these down I will be able to see them in a new light. 



  • A few weeks ago I wrote about how I couldn't decide between birthing in the hospital or at home. I finally made my decision to try and go for a home birth but I know that it isn't set in stone. Emily could be breech, my Group B Strep could come back.. A number of things could happen that would require me to have her in hospital. I'm trying to figure out who will watch James if I do end up having to be away from home. If it's at night it will have to be someone different from in the day. Am I going to be away for a day or three days? I hate the unknown and it puts me on edge! 




  • James and I are both having some medical issues at the moment. It honestly feels like we live at the Doctors surgery and the hospital at the moment. I'm pretty sure both establishments are going to be asking me to pay rent soon :) My midwife appointment this morning showed that I have protein in my urine, so that sample has now been sent off and I've been told to watch for headaches, swelling and stomach pain.. In which case it's off to the hospital for me for full pre-eclampsia testing. 




  • Since James was a baby if he is in the sun for too long or gets too hot then he has what the doctors call Vacant Episodes. These are a form of a seizure. I call it the "Lights are on but no body is home." He will literally stare into space and no amount of talking to him or cajoling him will snap him out of it. We've managed to control it by limiting the amount of time he is allowed in the sun for, not allowing him outside without a sun hat, keeping him very hydrated etc. Well, last weekend things stepped up a gear and without going into to much detail, James suffered a seizure. It happened at night, in his sleep and we have no idea if this has happened before. James has never slept well and even now rarely sleeps through the night so it could very well have happened before and we didn't know. He saw a doctor on Monday who confirmed that this definitely needs to be looked into further. With the seizures coupled with his vacant episodes that he has suffered from since he was 9 months old, we need to look into the fact that this could be epilepsy. That scares me. Actually it frightens the hell out of me but thankfully we have a good doctor who listened to me and agreed with everything I said. He has an appointment with a Pediatrician at the hospital next month and will have to undergo some tests, that I know he isn't going to be fond off. In the mean time, we literally have to watch him like a hawk. The vacant episodes can be easily missed during a bust day. He is now having to sleep in our bed so we will be woken if he suffers from a seizure. 



All of this on-top of being nearly 33 weeks pregnant is testing my sanity levels, I'm not going to lie. I know that things will eventually calm down. That things will one at a time, day by day get sorted, I just need to learn that I cannot control everything. It's a lesson that I think I am going to learn a few times over the course of the next few months.. 






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Tis The Season To Be Fruity.

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Our back garden has been a work in progress for the past three years. It seems though that for every one job that we get done, it creates another five jobs and it's one step forward two steps back. 

The first two years, it was Operation De-Bramble. I have never seen as many brambles in my life and as soon as they were cut down, they grew back at a rapid speed. Last year we had a digger come in and completely gut the garden which mostly got rid of our bramble problem. 

Then we had the longest winter in history and with frozen ground and lots of rain creating what can only be described as a mud bath, the garden got put on hold.... 

Until yesterday.. 

We attacked the jungle. It took hours but Anthony ploughed on with the lawn mower and now we can see the ground again. It looks like "Project Garden" is back on and I couldn't be happier. I plan to potter in the garden with James and get jobs done as a when my pregnancy allows. 

Look what we found yesterday though... Fruit! 


Apples



Pears



Peaches



Cherries




And this one was just happy that he could play on the grass again and is not restricted to the patio anymore.. 





Summer makes me happy :)




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Random Tuesday.

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Seen as I missed Miscellany Monday yesterday due to "Emily's Thirty Two Week Update" I figured I'd do a Random Tuesday :)

Before my Sister left her job to have her daughter, she was an MSW.. A Maternity Support Worker, working mostly with Mum's and their new born babies, however she did see pregnant women and learnt to be able to tell the babies position. Yesterday I told her that I had a feeling that Emily was lying transverse and after a bit of poking & prodding from Aimee, she declared that she thought I was correct.. 



This would explain why I have yet to feel any feet in my ribs and why I'm feeling lots of movement at the sides of my bump. She still has lots of time to turn :)


***************


I love this one.. Need I say more?





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I have so much stuff going on that I feel like my brain, which is already suffering from 'Baby Brain', is turning to mush. Lots of hospital visits, doctors appointments, school stuff for James, loose ends that need tying up before Emily makes her appearance. Sometimes I just sit there and wonder where to start.. I know that I'll get there in the end but I am a planner and organised person and I don't like it when things are left un-finished and up in the air. It sets me on edge. 

Maybe this is a good life lesson in the fact that I can't control everything? :)





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Emily - Thirty Two Weeks.

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Today is - Monday June 24, 2013

How far along - 32 Weeks.

Baby is - A girl! 

Total weight gain - I have my midwife appointment this coming Friday so until then I don't know. Last weight check I was at 28lbs.

Baby is the size of - A large Jicama.. 


Whats going on with baby - Apparently Emily is going to gain a third of her birth weight in these next weeks before delivery. She now has toenails, finger nails and hair!

What going on with Mummy - From twenty weeks on wards time felt like it was going really fast, now though it is draggggging. I feel like August will never get here. 


Maternity clothing - Yep. My Mum gave me some of her jeans which are in a bigger size which are actually more comfortable than my maternity jeans. Yay for comfort! 

Sleep - Oh sleep! It's up and down. Once I find a comfy position I could sleep for England. If I lay on my back it hurts my legs, if I lay on my left it makes me feel nauseous. The only way that seems to be comfortable is on my right with my left leg up as high as I can get it! My friend is going to lend me her maternity pillow so we'll see how that goes :)

Movement - I got an awesome video the other night of Emily moving. She is still having her lazy days and then her active days and there is one spot on my bump where she constantly has either a elbow or knee poking out.

Food Cravings/Aversions - My appetite this week has been non existent. I would really like it back. Still craving those Cheese and Onion crisps though.

Symptoms -

  • Tiredness. 
  • Achiness
  • Nausea - On and off but nothing as bad as the first two trimesters. 
  • Heartburn - This is on & off too but when I have it, boy is it bad!



How is this pregnancy different from the first - I'm a lot more tired and achy this time around.

Best moments this week -

  • Lots of wriggles and pokes from Emily. 
  • Anthony got a new job! We're waiting for a start date. 




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Un-plugging.

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I am constantly fascinated, and a little bit in awe, at how kids can pick up a phone, laptop or game controller and within minutes they know how to work it. Their brains are like little sponges and they seem to learn things a lot quicker than adults do. 

That being said. It also scares me how well James can use my iPhone and Laptop. Just the other day he asked me if he could play games on my laptop. I told him that he could and just as I was about to log on for him and get him set up on the Nick Jr website, he typed the password in, opened Google Chrome, put the website address in and selected his game that he wanted to play. 

That story makes it sound like all my kid does is sit on the computer all day staring at a screen and playing games which I can assure you isn't true but it made me think. How much time is okay for him to sit there playing, entertaining himself whilst I get some much needed jobs done?




I realised that since I've been pregnant he probably does spend more time playing those electronic games than he used to. So yesterday I made a conscious decision to stop the "Electronic Time" He was limited to 15 minutes on my iPhone playing his Jelly Car game. Instead I left the jobs that I really needed to get done and got down on the floor with him. We played Funny Faces, Pairs and Snap. We laughed and talked. It felt good to make him put the phone down. 




I'm by no means saying that I am going to ban him from playing all games on the phone and laptop. Every Mum knows that there are going to be those jobs that you have to get done and dinner needs to be cooked and if James entertaining himself for a few minutes helps me get that meal on the table then so be it. 





This whole thought process made me think about how much James sees me on the computer or checking Facebook & Twitter on my phone. Kids learn by example and I really need to start thinking about what kind of an example I am setting for my son. If all he see's is me constantly with my phone in my hand then he starts to think that is the norm and I don't want that. So my new challenge to myself is to step away from the laptop and leave my phone alone.. I'm sure the world of Facebook won't fall apart if I'm not checking my news feed every fifteen minutes, right? 





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Being A Mum...

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Being a Mum is honestly the best job in the world. 




I've always wanted to be a Mum. 
I had lots of jobs in between leaving School and getting married but none compare to the job I have now.. 

Sure, there is no pay at the end of the month, 
the hours are kind of sucky
and the fact that I don't get holidays and weekends off could be considered a downer.. 



Instead though, I get paid in cuddles. 

I get to hold the hand of a little boy as we walk down the street. 

I get arms wrapped around my neck and an "I love you" in my ear. 

I get to kiss boo boo's better 
& to sing lullaby's and he doesn't care that I can't carry a tune. 

I get to serve a Jam sandwich for lunch and have him declare it the "best meal ever"

I get to watch his eyes widen in amazement when he discovers something new 
& to answer questions such as, "Is the Moon made of cheese?"

Some mornings I get to watch Peppa Pig before the sun has risen, with him on my lap, just because he wants "Mummy snuggles"

I get to watch him dance around the living room to PSY Gangham Style and then go all shy and stop as soon as someone else walks in the room. 

I get to wake up in the morning and hear him talking to himself in his bedroom, reading his books aloud and reciting the alphabet. 

I get to ask him at night, "How much does Mummy love you?"
& listen to him reply.. "Up to the moon, back down again and a million times over"


And that is why this is the best job ever.. 









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My Perfect Home.

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I'm a dreamer. 

I love to imagine, to create things in my head. Maybe it's why I like writing so much? I am constantly dreaming about what my 'perfect' house would look like. It always looks different. Sometimes it's a small country cottage, sometimes it's a new Eco-friendly house, sometimes it's somewhere hot, sometimes it's in the middle of the mountains. I see photos of houses and think.. "That's the one!" 

It always has a big kitchen where I can cook and entertain at the same time. There is always a play room.. Oh how I would love a playroom where I could hang children's art work and there would be a little table and chairs where James (and soon to be Emily) could sit and draw. The living room would be formal but comfortable. Cosy but classy. 

I think all this dreaming of the perfect house has to do with the fact that as a child we moved.. A lot. Even as an adult I've not spent more than three years in one house. In July we will have been in our current house for three years. The longest house we've ever had and with no plans to move in the immediate future, it looks like it's going to win. It's not my perfect house though. We are bursting out of it and I know it's only going to get worse when Emily comes along. Babies come with a lot of stuff so I think I am going to have to get inventive with storage solutions. 

For now though I am trying my hardest to make our house our home.. I am constantly decorating, re-arranging and shifting furniture, trying to make it ours. It's a work in progress. 

In the meantime though, I dream.. About the perfect home. 








Please tell me that I am not the only one that does this!?




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Goodbye Google Reader.

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I am presuming that by now most of you know that at the end of this month Google Reader will be no more.. It's been hot news for months now in the Blogging world. Once I had heard the news I then started hearing all about Bloglovin. I registered on their website and also downloaded the app. It's the cool new way to read all the blogs that you follow :) 

{It's simple to use. Basically head over to Bloglovin and register. Once you've done this there will be an option to import your reading list from your Google Reader to your new account with Bloglovin and voila. Sorted!}

Also at the end of this post there is the Bloglovin button to carry on following my little old blog. I'd hate to think that I would loose any of you through a technical glitch :) 





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The Law Of Attraction.

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About a year ago, a friend recommended that I read, "The Secret." I had never heard of this book but she seemed so enthusiastic that the next time I was in the book shop I purchased this book even though the price made me raise my eyebrows. 

That night I sat and read, and read... and read. I'm sure many of you have heard of this book or it's teachings  or watched the documentary. At the time that I started reading I was suffering badly with my Emetophobia and my anxiety. This book gave me some hope. 

For those of you that haven't heard of it, the concept is simple. It is based on the law of attraction. Our thoughts become our reality.


The Secret book reveals how you can change every aspect of your life. You can turn any weakness or suffering into strength, power, unlimited abundance, health and joy.


Everything is possible, nothing is impossible. There are no limits. Whatever you can dream of can be yours, when you use The Secret.



The easiest way I have come to think about this and explain it to people is that every thing that we think or feel or talk about is being heard by the universe and responded to. If we are constantly worrying about our mounting debt and un-paid bills then that is what the universe is working with, so all we are going to get is mounting debt and un-paid bills. 

After I had finished the book I lent it to my Sister, who at the time was struggling with fertility issues. As much as I tried to keep "The Secret" in the forefront of my mind throughout my daily life, over time I let those worries creep back in and settle down in my thoughts. "We'll never pay our debts off" "I'll never be free from my anxiety" "I'm not a good enough wife, mother or woman".. The list goes on.. 

I forgot all about the Law Of Attraction and how my thoughts today were creating my tomorrow. Fast forward to last weekend. I was feeling down so I was browsing through Netflix trying to find something funny to cheer myself up. I've never looked on their documentary list before so I decided to see what was about. One of the first programs that came up was "The Secret".. Why not I thought? Within minutes of watching it I remembered why I loved the book so much and how much the teachings made sense to me. Anthony was watching it with me and I honestly thought he was going to start laughing and telling me about what a load of rubbish it was. Instead, he watched with me and actually agreed that he could see some truth in it.  I was literally left open mouthed.. Anthony is a very black and white guy. He likes facts. He likes things that can be proved beyond a shadow of a doubt. 

The past few days I have really tried to keep the teachings in my head. As soon as I start to think a negative thought I stop myself. I try and turn it into a positive one. I tried to remember to be grateful for all that I do have. 

Yes my house is tiny and we are bursting at the seams, especially as we are about to add another little person.. But I have a house. I have shelter and a place to call home. 
So I cannot afford gourmet food and steak every night. I cannot afford to eat out in restaurants but I have food in my cupboards and every night I am able to make a meal for my family. 
Yes I am tired ALL the time, my hands and feet are swollen by the end of the day but I am carrying a beautiful baby girl who will be here in no time at all. 



"The life of your dreams has always been closer to you than you realized, because The Power - to have everything good in life - is inside you."




I would love to hear from you if you've read this book or watched the documentary. What were your thoughts?





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Emily - Thirty One Weeks.

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I was meant to post this yesterday but  I spent the morning at the hospital having a check up and then an hour after I got home I developed a migraine, (only my second one ever) I spent the next 12 hours hiding under my quilt praying for relief, which finally came at 2am this morning. You've got to love what I can only presume were pregnancy hormones. 

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Today is -Tuesday June 17, 2013

How far along - 31 weeks & 1 day.


Baby is - A girl! 

Total weight gain - 28 pounds.

Baby is the size of - A coconut.

Whats going on with baby - Emily can now turn her head from side to side and she is plumping out and loosing her wrinkly appearance.

What going on with Mummy - I'm back at the tired, nauseous stage which isn't great but I keep thinking that I've only got a few weeks left so I should enjoy them! 

Maternity clothing - Yep, no change there. Some tops are still non maternity. All my size 8 jeans are packed away and have been for weeks. 

Sleep - Around 3pm every afternoon I can barely keep my eyes open. Then I seem to get a second wind around 7pm and I'm wide awake. Sleep is good though. Most nights as long as I use the toilet before I fall asleep I can get away with not having midnight potty breaks. The other night I slept for 9.5 hours which is my longest stretch since falling pregnant! 

Movement - Emily is still being a little diva and keeping me on my toes. One day she will kick constantly and the next I feel hardly anything. She goes mental when I get in the bath though which is so awesome to watch! 

Food Cravings/Aversions - I'm still craving carbs. Cheese and Onion crisps seem to be my favorite at the moment and my go to food. Not the healthiest option but oh well.

Symptoms - 



  • Tiredness. 
  • Achiness
  • Nausea - On and off but nothing as bad as the first two trimesters. 



How is this pregnancy different from the first - I still can't believe how two pregnancies can be so different. I guess this time around I can't just rest when I need to so I'm a lot more tired this time.

Best moments this week - 


  • A good appointment with my consultant yesterday. I don't have to go back until 36 weeks and hopefully that will be my last appointment.  
  • We finally got Emily's crib! Our friend is painting is for us. I will post photos when it's done but lets just say Tinkerbell is involved :)








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Maternity Photos.

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This is my first post since Monday. It's normally un-heard of for me to go more than a day without writing something. It wasn't a planned break, I guess the third trimester tiredness has caught up with me and that coupled with this cold/cough that I've had, hasn't made for a very good week. This post has been sat half written in my drafts since Wednesday. I'm here now though, sat waiting for my food shopping to be delivered so I figured I'd try and get back into the swing of things :)

I've been thinking a lot lately about Maternity photos. I didn't have them done when I was pregnant with James and I regret it. We moved to London right in the middle of my pregnancy though and Anthony was so busy with work and before we knew it James was in our arms. This time though I really want to have some done.

I've been looking through Google images trying to get some inspiration of things that I like.. There really are some gorgeous photos out there and some really fun ideas!
















I think every woman has seen the photo below.. So many celebrities have done this.. Demi Moore started it and since then Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears and Tia Mowry have jumped on the bandwagon.. I love it though and think that it's a beautiful image. Not one that I would personally share with anyone but my husband and definitely not on the internet but I would love to have it done! 





Now I just need to find a photographer! 

Happy weekend! 





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Emily - Thirty Weeks! Home Stretch Baby!

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Today is - Monday, June 10th, 2013

How far along - 30 weeks.


Baby is - A girl! 

Total weight gain - 28 pounds.  

Baby is the size of - An large cabbage.

Whats going on with baby - Emily's eyesight is continuing to develop. Her lungs and digestive tract are almost fully developed! 

What going on with Mummy - I've had a cold/flu virus this week so it's been a bit rough. Pregnancy wise though, after the dramatics of the last few weeks, this week has been good.

Maternity clothing - Yep. I can still get away with some non-maternity tops, just in bigger sizes. If I'm at home I tend to be in sweats as my jeans are getting to be more and more uncomfortable pressed against my stomach.

Sleep - With my cold my sleeping has been awful. I'm coughing all night long and Friday night was especially bad. I had a fever and would be waking up every 30 minutes or so but it would feel like i'd been asleep for hours. Not fun! Hence why I've had lots of naps this week!


Movement - Emily has been kicking up a storm this week! I still feel more wiggles more than kicks and punches but after a couple of weeks ago where I didn't feel anything for days, I will take whatever she is willing to give me. 

Food Cravings/Aversions - Carbs! Carbs! Carbs! On Thursday I went to lunch at my Nan's for her birthday and we had a pasta dish which she served with crusty bread smothered in butter.. I had about 8 pieces of bread. What can I say, I'm craving Carbs :)

Symptoms - 


  • Achiness - My legs especially. 

  • SPD - Still there on and off. 


How is this pregnancy different from the first - With James I was feeling a lot of kicks and punches still.. Maybe girls wiggle more than boys??! 

Best moments this week - 


  • Feeling more movement from Miss Emily. 
  • Managing to get a lot of rest this week!






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